Let Them Be Human

Weekly Edition #31: August 27th, 2025

Verse I Like:

“The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but people are tested by their praise.”

— Proverbs 27:21 (NIV)

Weekly Dose

There’s a danger in putting someone on a pedestal. You strip them of their agency. You project an image that no one, no matter how kind or beautiful or wise, could possibly live up to.

I have absolutely been down that path. I used to fall in love with the idea of a woman, not the woman herself. Just the polished version I had created in my own mind.

It’s not fair to her, and it’s a path to disaster for me. When the levy breaks, or the reckoning happens, it doesn’t just disappoint. It destabilizes. The higher the pedestal, the harder the fall.

And here’s the subtle irony—when we idealize someone, we actually distance ourselves from them. You can’t have intimacy with an image. Love requires a level of presence. Projection cuts against this idea.

Real love is rooted in truth. In recognizing their flaws—along with our own flaws—and moving toward a better future together.

Quotes I Like:

“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.”

— Seneca

“He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears.”

— Michel de Montaigne

“Idolatry is always a threat to love, because it turns a person into a projection rather than a participant.”

— Tim Keller

Mane Message

The Greek myth of Orpheus shows us the dangers of improper focus, doubt, becoming lost in the metaphysical, and idealizing someone rather than dealing with reality.

Orpheus and Eurydice were newlyweds in ancient Greece. On their wedding day, Eurydice is bitten by a snake and dies. Stricken with grief, Orpheus descends into the underworld to bring her back. He makes a deal with Hades. He may walk Eurydice back to the land of the living, but only if he does not look back at her during the entire journey. If he does, she will be lost to him forever.

So he begins climbing out of hell.

But as he ascends, doubt creeps in. The silence behind him grows unbearable. He cannot hear her footsteps. He begins to fear the worst. He fears that she isn’t really there. He ears he has been tricked by Hades. That his quest is in vain.

And just before reaching the light, Orpheus turns around.

Eurydice is there. But now, seeing her face for the last time, he watches her pulled back into the shadows, this time for good.

This myth isn’t just about loss. It’s about the torment of the imagination, and how our deepest fears can become self-fulfilling. Orpheus loses Eurydice not because of fate, but because of mistrust. His desire to confirm his ideal does him in. His perfect bride. The perfect ending. It costs him the very thing he longed for.

There’s also something to be said about the fact that it was their wedding day. The implication seems to be that they didn’t know each other deeply. Eurydice may have been more of an idea to Orpheus than a reality. In a way, he was chasing a version of the feminine he constructed in his mind. And the more pressure he put on that ideal, the more fragile it became.

Had he focused on the task in front of him, their reunion would have happened. But he was ensnared by “what-ifs.” The metaphysical pulled him away from his duties. And his fear ended up sealing the very fate he feared.

The myth is ancient. But the principle is modern. Stop looking over your shoulder to see if everything is perfect. Just walk.

Weekly Ponder

In trying to hold on to an ideal, do we risk losing the real connection we have in the present?

What would it look like to embrace the journey and trust, rather than constantly looking back for reassurance of what we think we need?

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